Kittens

A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home.
Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.

Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her.  Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man. "Hi there little girl, I'm Mitt Romney.  What do you have in the basket?" he asked.  "Kittens," little Suzy said.  "How old are they?" asked Romney.  Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet."  "And what kind of kittens are they?"  "Republicans," answered Suzy with a smile.  Romney was delighted.

As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.  Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the candidate should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens.  

So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her  basket of "FREE KITTENS," when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from FOX News, ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.  Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Romney got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy. 

"Hello, again," he said, "I'd love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away."  "Yes sir," Suzy said. "They're Democrats."  Taken by surprise, the candidate stammered, "But...but...yesterday, you told me they were Republicans."  Little Suzy smiled and said, "I know...but today, they have their eyes open ."

Are you with me?

Zen Sarcasm

No, I didn't write this but I love it!

Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I May not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your
neighbor's' newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be       promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed...Skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and       he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

And that's the truth!  Are you with me?