First, thank you for doing this for me because I feel so good right now. It seems to me that I wasn't there for the whole process but as time went by afterword, I began to notice some things.
Most important of these was the absence of a feeling of heaviness in my chest and the tingling in my fingers seemed less (although part of that has to be diabetic neuropathy--which won't go away) some of it had to be Philip's desire to take hold of things he could no longer physically grasp. I slept like a baby Thursday night and woke up refreshed on Friday.
Throughout the day on Friday I began to remember things from the session that were not clear to me at the time. I remembered "seeing" Philip's accident. What I "saw" was the sun setting and Philip riding fast to get home before dark. He didn't just fall off the horse. In my mind's eye I saw his horse step into some sort of hole in the ground, which caused the animal to trip and Philip to go flying over it's head. Philip landed on his head and broke his neck. He was in darkness but no pain. My guess is that he slowly suffocated.
But the more I thought about it, I just couldn't understand why he didn't see the light and go into it. I've read many books on NDE's including some by Brian Weiss. I also believe we live many lifetimes and recognize the light of death. Perhaps the darkness fooled him into thinking he had just fallen asleep but it was 74 years before he saw my light. That's a long time to be floating around in a dark void. I felt a little sad for him then. Maybe he attached to someone before me but it didn't work out?
I slept equally as well on Friday night. (I enjoyed the Tricker/Treaters) before I went to sleep. There were more than we've ever had before here in Florida---I had to turn out the light because we ran out of candy! Saturday I began remembering some things from my childhood. I remember that I only liked playing with boys (I guess you could say I was a bit of a tom-boy). When I was 9 I received a bicycle (24 incher) and from the time I got it almost until I finished High School, I pretended it was my horse and I was a cowboy---not a cowgirl but a cowboy.
I'm from a small town in Ohio and I rode my horse all over that town (market, library, park etc., etc.) I had girl friends but until I was in HS I preferred being with boys--being "one of the boys". I never thought there was anything wrong with that--I still don't. But now I think I understand it better. Philip was happier with male companions and being one with them even if he didn't quite understand what was going on.
He's been with me almost my whole life.....now, he's where he should be and I'm trying to figure out what part of what I know is me and what part was him.
Just today (Sunday), I was thinking about my chronic bronchitis. I have always attributed it to my father being a heavy smoker--I'm still sure that was part of it. But, while I don't think Philip intended me any harm--perhaps his hanging around in my chest contributed in some way. I didn't really expect so many things to surface like this but I think it's helping me to figure out how this experience changed my life. I think my guides are bringing some of these things up so I can figure it all out. I'll let you know what happens...Love you, Joyce
No comments:
Post a Comment